Lack. Of. Motivation.

So, I'm writing my paper. For *real* this time. But why am I not immensely motivated and relieved?

I am not as happy about this as I was about the original paper (the one which, it turns out, had issues). This paper has fewer issues. But is it less interesting?

We have some data that is confusing. We don't have time to write about it now. We will write about it later. It does not refute anything we are presenting here, but still:

*Is that bad?*

I am more apprehensive, and less proud of, the current work. Maybe I am just worried that this won't get submitted either, that there is going to be something else at the last minute to delay it.

In any case, I am extremely unmotivated right now. Also, I'm hungry. And I want coffee. But I've been spending too much money on food and coffee lately, so I should just wait until I get home.

It's a little after 3:30. I got here at about 11:00 today, and already I want to go home.

I guess that's a disadvantage(?) to this kind of job. If I really want to, I can go home whenever I want. But that also means it will take me longer to finish this.

I kind of wanted to go for a walk. But if I walked somewhere, I'd end up buying food.

I can't concentrate when I'm hungry.

I want to go home, but I don't know what to do when I get there. The apartment needs cleaning but I don't want to do that. I don't even want to expend the energy to walk home.

What's my problem?

The semester just started yesterday, and already I'm freaking out. This is not good.

Okay, here's what I'm going to do: take things that seem insurmountable and make them surmountable.

1. Go home
2. Eat food
3. Practice violin (audition tomorrow???)
4. Work on paper
5. Do dishes

Yes, this is incredibly lame, using my blog to make to-do lists, but that's what's happening.